I am befuddled.
I’m also exhausted. I’m good exhausted but still exhausted.
I’m not sure exactly when I thought I’d be squeezing in time to write.
I don’t think I really gave it much thought actually.
The morning job (getting someone’s boys on the school bus) is working out great.
It’s always a little rough the first week, starting a new job, new routine, and finding out what works best.
Bowling was much more fun this week but I’m super sore and feel so entirely old. It’s those creaky bones I tell ya.
A friend I went to high school with passed away on Saturday. He was 34 and left behind 3 young children.
I am still trying to wrap my mind around that.
It’s so hard NOT to imagine myself leaving my boys.
I’ve been thinking about it, my friend, my boys, his children, life.
I’ve been angry about it, upset about it and now I’m just befuddled.
Sometimes I wish it didn’t take someone dying to make others realize that what they have is really great.
But death is a teacher of that lesson.
With that said, 2010 is in its final months.
I looked at my list of things I had hoped to accomplish this year.
For a moment, I felt defeated but then I realized that I have accomplished many things that never were on the list in the first place.
New endeavors I hadn’t even planned.
Sometimes those are the best accomplishments aren’t they?
The ones that surprise us.
It Is What It Is.
How often I come back to those five simple words.
They’re not hanging on my living room wall for nothing.
Take it – whatever it is – and make the best of it.
I’m doing.
I’m doing.
13 Responses to “How have I been?”
I'm so sorry about your friend. Unfortunately I've experienced a lot of death in the last 5 years – all of them have been friends from high school. It really does remind you how short and incredible life is. And I try to live each day remembering that. *HUGS*
I'm sorry to hear about your friend.
although it's just September, it does feel like the year is "wrapping-up," oh how time flies. a busy year it was, and yes you did a ton of stuff! i'm curious about what hasn't been done yet???
Death is something that I don't deal well with at all…I mean I REALLY don't deal well with it. I try not to think about it but it has a way of sneaking into life every now and again. The inevitability of it is the toughest part of it for me. I don't like to think about dying but thinking about my loved ones dying is sometimes harder.
Anyway – that being said I have to agree that it does teach us to appreciate what we have. Those of us who are smart, learn to prioritize from it. I think you have done just that. It IS what it IS and it IS exactly what it should be.
Thanks for reminding me to make sure I get extra kisses and hugs while worrying about getting teeth brushed and hair combed tomorrow!
Sorry to hear about your friend from HS. It is so hard to understand and wrap your mind around it. We have had 3 funerals this year (and another one in the very near future for my grandma)…I am learning to live each day to it's fullest!
So sorry to hear about your friend from HS! That's tragic. I can't imagine life without hubs.
I'm so sorry to hear about that. 34? *cringe* too, too soon.
My friend Lacee and I use that phrase, it is what it is, all the time. Made me smile
I'm exhausted too, but also the good kind of exhausted
So sorry to hear about your highschool friend. 34 is just so young and it makes me so sad to think of his kids growing up without him.
Thank you for your awesome comment. You helped me see things differently. I really appreciate it…thanks!
Thanks Shell
It's really throwing me through a loop. I need to refocus but I keep hearing "what if, what if" in my head. I know you can't live your life worrying about no longer being here but it's all I can seem to focus on right now. Life is so incredibly short.
That phrase has helped me so much this year…a great way to live life I think
New baby exhausted!! Yeah, I think of his kids too and it makes me sick. They are forever changed and so much more adult then they should be because of this. Sad.