Funny thing, that Mama Kat would have one of her weekly writing prompts be, “Finding the balance.  How do you manage?”

I’ve been a bit out of whack lately although I wouldn’t necessarily say anything is off balance.

I think at times certain things take center stage and the rest kind of gets pushed to “crap box”.

It’s hard to keep perspective during these episodes and feel okay not giving everything the same percentage of importance all the time.

Life is always changing on us so we have to find the way to adapt our balance.

A few months ago I started this very blog post in an attempt to have a go-to list when I felt the threads of my life starting to unravel.

I never have finished it.

Until now.

With a swift little kick from Mama Kat’s workshop I sat down (unfortunately with many interruptions) and realized that all in one swift motion I was able to touch base with the 10 things I need, and I mean NEED, for my life to be in balance.

I realized that right now my life is predominately centered around a few things:

Family – planning Jacek’s 5th birthday party and I’ve been working towards beginning his bedroom renovations (which will begin today actually)

Exercise – not only do I get a little alone time and outward release when I exercise at 5 in the morning but I also get self-efficacy which is just an all over mood booster

and

Thought – I’m a heavy thinker which I think could be easily mistaken as heavy drinker.  It’s almost the same thing except for my drug of choice is reckless abandonment of sense.  I think senseless thoughts, I daydream of other realities, I ponder what-ifs.  I’ve been a bit submerged in my own thought pool lately, not exactly drowning but not exactly staying above the water entirely.

One thing I haven’t been doing lately is writing.

Not good.

I’ve come to rely on it as a means to, at the very least, de-clutter those burdock bushes of thought.

In that one aspect, my life is a bit off balance I suppose.

Until right now.

For I am writing.

So, here is my list.

10 things I need for my life to feel balanced

writing

time alone

an outward release (singing/dancing/exercise)

purpose – need a short term goal to be working toward (can not be idle)

organization – (mainly in the form of lists)

someone to talk with (not just to)

understanding of why (why someone said something, did something, acts a certain way)

cooking

my children

self-efficacy

As for the, how do you manage part, it has become clear to me that in order maintain feeling like things make sense I have to continually on a week to week basis work at it.

It surely just doesn’t come to be.

Listening to myself and talking to myself play a big part.

Every morning, lying in my cozy WARM bed I have the same battling conversation with myself.

Get up.  No stay in bed.  Get up and exercise.  No stay in bed.  You’ll feel so good.  Stay in bed.  GET YOUR ASS UP!

While running I talk to myself in my head, working through problems, asking myself questions, pondering the outcome of things.

We’re living in a fast paced society where communication via text, email, voice mail, facebook, etc. has become not only acceptable but expected.

Face to face communication has dwindled.

I’m talking one on ones with yourself here.

Lock that bathroom door in the morning and take a good look in the mirror.

Don’t be afraid to get inside that pretty little head of yours and find out what you NEED to make yourself a better self.

Stare into those familiar eyes that you don’t see nearly often enough and think.

Don’t freak out if you you start to cry for what seems like no reason.

But maybe that’s just me.

Smile.

Then start your day for you.

For me it’s not a question of HOW I manage but why I manage.

I manage because I know not every day is going to be my best

nor will every day be my worst.

I manage because there’s two little boys who NEED me to.

Balance in my life is like air.

It keeps me alive.